To resolve any confusion right away: YES, this is me – at the age of 3 – the year in which my sister was born. As you can see, it wasn’t the easiest time for me (and my parents) emotionally. I’ll tell you at the end, why I picked this beautiful picture.
I have just watched a TED Talk by Tony Robbins and was highly amazed by him. Therefore, I wanted to share some of his valuable insights with you.
He is talking about what makes some people in comparison to others successful. For him emotion is the main component to motivate and engage people in anything. Here I couldn’t agree more with him! There are more than 6000 expressions for emotions in the english language, which is amazing! Anyhow, most people only experience 12 emotions, from which 6 are negative. So they get really happy or excited and then highly sad or depressed. In general, everybody has one emotion which tends to come up over and over again. For example, there are some people who react angry or frustrated all the time, others get sad and depressed. There are also some people that tend to react positive and happy for any possible occasion (which I think is rather rare).
The question we have to ask ourself is:
What are your underlying driving forces = emotions?
We could also call these ‘invisible forces’, because we can not see these with our eyes (only if people react accordingly). For you personally though it is a huge advantage, to figure out your underlying/invisible driving force! Then you can ask yourself: ‘Is this behaviour serving me to reach to my goals or not?’. Furthermore, reflecting on your emotions is the first step of handling them in a better way and even directing them in a more positive/supportive direction.
As our emotions are the driving forces, our decisions are our ‘ultimate powers’. We have three decisions of destiny to make.
- What am I going to focus on (focus = feeling)?
- The past/present or the future?
- Myself or others?
- What does this mean?
- Is it the end or the beginning?
- Am I being punished or rewarded?
- What am I going to do?
- Give up or move forward?
According to the decisions we make our actions and our path will come forward.
There are two primary patterns coming along with the invisible forces that shape us.
- In the moment: our physical and emotional ‘state’
- Long-term: our model of the world / our view of the world, the shaper of meaning – emotion & action (= our FILTER that consists of three levels: target / needs / fuel)
Regarding the second level: NEEDS.
There are six basic human needs that we want fulfilled.
- Uncertainty (which is in opposition to the above mentioned point): the reason is, that we would otherwise feel utterly bored with our lives!
- Significance: we want to feel unique and special
- These last two points are the needs of our ‘spirit or soul’. They need to always grow and without them we will never reach to ‘fulfillment’. Fulfillment can only be reached by appreciation and contribution (beyond ourselves, for the good of the society).
Here again the question of which of these points are our driving forces comes up!
I can highly recommend you to watch this TED Talk by Tony Robbins:
TEDx: ‘Why we do what we do.’:
By the way: The picture is me at the age of four being highly frustrated because I wasn’t the only child anymore (after my sisters birth) and therefore not the center of the universe (from my parents point of view). Talking about emotions I found it very appropriate. Anyhow, don’t get me wrong here – from there on, me and my sister were always one heart and soul: